Journal

It has been so long since I have had a new post. I know that I have a small amount of followers but I am still sorry if I disappointed any of you. I am ready to be back and to be a little different. I am going to write in my public journal once a week to share and vent to anyone who will listen. This is mostly a way to talk about what I am thinking and feeling but also so that maybe some of you will know that you are not alone with your thoughts and feelings.

I have made such a huge change in my life. Adam and I separated a couple of months ago. I moved back home with my parents and am on the market for a new home. I was putting a smile on my face for so long that I almost had myself fooled. I think this is what a lot of women do. Especially women that have children. I thought that as long as everyone else thought that I was happy that I would be happy myself and that all of the pain would just go away. It is so hard to look back and realize how long it had been since I had truly felt happiness. The kind of happiness that you can not live without.

There were so many days that I did not want to even get out of bed. I would just lay there in the morning trying to find a reason that seemed important enough to live for. Without my children this would have never happened. Everything happened so quickly. Even though it is hard at times to live with my mom and dad I am so grateful that they have accepted me and my children into their home.

Since I do not have a home of my own it is hard to create and make new things to show you guys. Hopefully I can find a way to be crafty and do a lot of fun things so that all of you have something to keep coming back for real soon. Thank you to anyone who is listening and if anyone wants to talk please feel free to send me and email anytime.